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Please stop a moment just to read this.

PostPosted: Thu Oct 19, 2006 9:08 pm

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Charliekthx
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This is bound to cause a certain amount of controversy, but I had to share.

http://soulkerfuffle.blogspot.com/2006/ ... m-top.html

In my eyes, it is certainly food for thought. As long as I play this game and enjoy it, I will never stop - but this is something I feel everyone should bear in mind.

I love you all.

Charlie

PostPosted: Thu Oct 19, 2006 10:15 pm

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Stracius
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I came across this blog and toyed with posting it in general for everyone. Glad to see someone else got to it first.

I think it should be taken a bit more seriously than just as food for thought, though. I've got one brother who could easily lose his wife due to this game with the amount of time that he's spending on it. It's gotten to the point where she's actually expressed her concern to other family members; something she rarely does.

Keep in mind that this wonderful sister-in-law stuck by his side through the duration of when my brother developed cancer, helped him through it as they fought it into remission, saw it relapse, and again stuck it out with him as he fought it back into it's current state of remission. This was all before she married him.

Now? Well he's been playing so much lately that he doesn't even go to the doctor anymore. I wouldn't blame her if she left because of his selfishness/blindness/stupidity. I can only wonder why he'd risk putting her through that a third time, not to mention his own life. On top of that, the fact that he spends more time with the game than with her.

So each of us have to look at our own lives and ask ourselves if anything like this (the stuff in the article) is going on. I don't know that I'd qualify it as an addiction. I look at it as more of an over-immersion (I've not seen anything yet that really qualifies as withdrawl). Forgetting that you once had a life outside the game and neglecting important aspects of your life. Like my brother.

Like you, perhaps? A spouse, a parent, a brother or sister. A child. I don't even want to think about parents neglecting their children; a real sore spot for me. I've got another brother with a wife and 3 children. He spends so much time on his computer that it's not unusual for him to neglect sleeping. Or when I'm online and see a person say they need to take a quick 5 minute break to feed their infant/toddler (happened quite a bit :shake: ). How does one bond with their children when they're too busy with a game?

This is more serious than I like to be when I think about games, but it's a reality. Moderation in everything. Go call a friend, kiss a spouse, or hug a child (yours preferably).


Sorry for the long'ish post :sweat: I seem to be doing my yearly quota for them all in one day :p

edit add:: think i'm going to move this over to general anyway. Seems more appropriate considering we've more than just 1 group playing really fun games :p
hoott19 wrote:There are many drinks that are drunk by the people.So, the mostly, person like to have beer. They like because of it's benifit. The benifiti is that it hepls to reduce fat from the body and make the mental calm.
[WoW] This type of games should be up dated as soon as possible. Because there are many people that ere very found of such games. As these are very help full for make the brain power full and strong. So, mentaly strongness is the need of this presant era.

PostPosted: Fri Oct 20, 2006 12:17 am

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Ash
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Excellent post, makes you wonder if the Chinese didn't have it right.

When CCP negotiated with the Chinese to market EvE in China,
one of the changes to the game was a decrease in skill learning
if you played over a certain amount of time during a fixed period.
Not sure what the time period was, but i seem to recall
it being short like 2 hours a day.

Good article, thanks for posting it Charlie.

:thumb:
Ash
The quiet one in the corner

PostPosted: Fri Oct 20, 2006 2:01 am

Thunderbird
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That is a very interesting post.

I'm somewhat amused at the bit about getting a girlfriend in an online game...cause I think I'm headed that way myself.

PostPosted: Fri Oct 20, 2006 7:27 am

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SSX-Ava
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Ive come across similar posts/stories of this kind of thing happening more then I'd like to mention sadly.
It's a problem I suffer from personally and a post like this really make's you reflect and think about your own life. Generally whatever effect it had on you, just wears off after a few days and you stick your head back down into the sand oblivious to everything around you for abit longer.

PostPosted: Fri Oct 20, 2006 9:09 am

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Arche
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I've lost many relationships due to this game. Yet I've made some very close friends.

I consider WoW a chatbox these days. I just like to keep in touch with you guys because you mean a lot to me.

Keep an eye on yourselves!

/cuddle

PostPosted: Fri Oct 20, 2006 5:17 pm

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Sofia
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Great blog.

Ive seen too many friends, both e-friends & rl-friends, delve too far into the game... just beeing sucked dry at one point. Happended to me aswell. Luckily, most of them got a grip of themselfs at one point.

RL > WoW. Someone should think after almost 2 years playing the game & to witness most achivements going to waste for replacements would make you think :p I guess e-peen & feeling inferior if you dont go hardcore makes it hard, but meh.

One of the reasons why i really enjoy playing the game atm again is simply: Nothing you do matters, theres no pressure at all. The folks keeps meeting on much more equal terms & you can really see who sticks together & with whom, doing whatever is most fun to them.

PostPosted: Fri Oct 20, 2006 6:42 pm

Lightforge
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As it isn't enough that we play money to play.. We also pay with precious moments of our lives...
No.. I didn't know about the set when I made the character! :|

PostPosted: Fri Oct 20, 2006 9:28 pm

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Eolas
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First of all Charlie - thx for the blogpost - a true eye opener. And also Stracius with some very mature comments and some very personal ones too which have opened my eyes to my own behaviour.

I am over immeresed in this game - maybe not addicted but definitely over immersed. I have a wife and kids and now that i am in a raiding guild the commitment i need to give to this game has increased and i find myslef spending too much time in wow. In ssx I could skip an evening of wow or two or more cause i wanted to watch a footie match or a dvd but now i cant cause i dont want to let the guild down.

So thanks both of you - you have set me thinking..........
"Do unto others what you have them do to you" - Jesus

PostPosted: Fri Oct 20, 2006 10:24 pm

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Sofia
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Eolas wrote:but now i cant cause i dont want to get kicked.
Fixed it for you :P

PostPosted: Sat Oct 21, 2006 4:56 am

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Eolas
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Lol Sof - where did I write that?
"Do unto others what you have them do to you" - Jesus

PostPosted: Sat Oct 21, 2006 5:06 am

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Eolas
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Ahhh - ok now I get it! :lol: No Sof its not the getting kicked believe me. Ascension are not as hardcore as Drama, Union etc. I can raid 3 nights only - sometimes even 2. But still with a raiding guild this game loses some of its fun as at times it becomes more a commitment and having fun should'nt be imo.
Why don't you leave I hear you say? Well atm I want to see some more high level content and the only way to do that atm is in a raiding guild; but as I have shared with other ssx friends this will not be forever.

Going back to the original post.....everything lies in doing anything one does in his free time in MODERATION. I mean for me before WoW came, I still played a lot of single player games and I still had issues with giving too little time to the famliy - ok I never skipped work or anything but still one had to drag me off the pc. Tbh there were a few days when I could'nt put my mind off wow - even at work - but not for more than a few days. So although wow heightens the problem it is not a problem in itself.

I myself will use the blog and Stracius' post to remind myself that wow can take over - and although I will keep playing it for now - I will not let it take over.
"Do unto others what you have them do to you" - Jesus

PostPosted: Sat Oct 21, 2006 9:35 am

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Varanor / Dalaryna
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great post, tho I have to disagree with some things the author is saying. I think he pretty much blames blizzard for "destroying people's life's ". But what I think is that you should blame yourself for lacking self control. When someone uses drugs or alcohol can you blame the drugs/alcohol for that person to be addicted? I think you should blame the person for using it, if that person wanted to he would never have been addicted, It's your own choice and if you can't handle it you should not blame someone else (blizzard) but try to see your own fault.
Varanor 60 paladin.
Dalaryna 60 rogue.
Theradur 60 mage.
-----------------------
but my friends call me.. Kikkoman!

PostPosted: Sat Oct 21, 2006 10:12 am

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QuantumDelta
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Varanor / Dalaryna wrote:great post, tho I have to disagree with some things the author is saying. I think he pretty much blames blizzard for "destroying people's life's ". But what I think is that you should blame yourself for lacking self control. When someone uses drugs or alcohol can you blame the drugs/alcohol for that person to be addicted? I think you should blame the person for using it, if that person wanted to he would never have been addicted, It's your own choice and if you can't handle it you should not blame someone else (blizzard) but try to see your own fault.
I think you missed the authors point.
"Then, to hide their frailty, they hurt those who are kind.
I whisper farewell to this ugly world and dance nimbly with brilliant wings of red."

PostPosted: Sat Oct 21, 2006 8:09 pm

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Unimatrixx
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QuantumDelta wrote:
Varanor / Dalaryna wrote:great post, tho I have to disagree with some things the author is saying. I think he pretty much blames blizzard for "destroying people's life's ". But what I think is that you should blame yourself for lacking self control. When someone uses drugs or alcohol can you blame the drugs/alcohol for that person to be addicted? I think you should blame the person for using it, if that person wanted to he would never have been addicted, It's your own choice and if you can't handle it you should not blame someone else (blizzard) but try to see your own fault.
I think you missed the authors point.
Indeed.
Assumption is the mother of all f*ckups.

PostPosted: Sun Oct 22, 2006 12:19 pm

Dodotorpedo
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Games are the drugs of the 21st century.

PostPosted: Tue Oct 24, 2006 9:13 am

Yale
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Blizzard have done a great job of creating an alternative world, and for some it will present an opportunity to be all the things that they cannot be in the "real" world.

Looking at the authors comments about when they got into the game (Quote "a time in my life when I was unemployed, living at my family's house far from my friends, and had just finished my engineering degree and was taking a little time to find a job.") looks like they were at a bit of a crossroads. It's possible the lure of being able to take control and advance an area of their life at that time could have been a big pull.

I spend hours gaming online for fun, but I also make time for family and friends (you'll rarely find me online on Thursdays, and every other weekend I'll be with my daughter). What I have noticed is when work gets a bit tough I do spend more time online, pwning to relive the tension :P, but that's something I recognise and work to control.

When I broke up with my wife a couple of years ago I found I was escaping into EVE online after arguments (and if I'm honest, spending time in EVE was a source of those argument in those final few months). At least for me I know that MMORPGs can be my kryptonite and I make efforts to restrict the time I spend in them.

Some 20 years ago, when the only MMORPG any of my friends knew about was a text based MUD called Shades, my friends and I used to play D&D and a whole host of other RPGs with .... pen and paper *blush* One friend was going througha bad pathc in his life and for him the game became his escape. Every conversation was about a character concept, or an in game encounter, etc. Sadly, this guy is no longer in my close circle of friends. I think most of us changed our focus in life, and this other guys was unable to move on. In the end he chose to break contact. I never want to be at that point with any of my freinds again, so I make the effort.

Flipside, I've made some great friends online and have met them IRL - I'll be spending New Year in Malmo with a family my GF and I met in City of Heroes :)

One of the things that attracted me to SSX is the sense of community. It looks like you guys are friends first and gamers second. That can be equally seductive in pulling you online, but as long as we remember to step back into a world without pixels every once in a while it should be okay :D
"Taking down the $target, Sniper Style ... Damn, missed!"

PostPosted: Tue Oct 24, 2006 4:32 pm

Inquisitor
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Letting a game consume you to the exclusion of all else is something a number of people here have been guilty of.

Food for thought.
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PostPosted: Wed Oct 25, 2006 12:49 am

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Gryphon
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Cold turkey gamewise for ages now. Best damn thing I ever did.
ESO - EU - Ebonheart
Jalfrezi - Khajit DK/Destro
Peeks-Through-Windows - Argonian Templar/Resto

PostPosted: Wed Oct 25, 2006 11:48 pm

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Gryphon
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Eolas wrote:First of all Charlie - thx for the blogpost - a true eye opener. And also Stracius with some very mature comments and some very personal ones too which have opened my eyes to my own behaviour.

I am over immeresed in this game - maybe not addicted but definitely over immersed. I have a wife and kids and now that i am in a raiding guild the commitment i need to give to this game has increased and i find myslef spending too much time in wow. In ssx I could skip an evening of wow or two or more cause i wanted to watch a footie match or a dvd but now i cant cause i dont want to let the guild down.

So thanks both of you - you have set me thinking..........
There is no commitment to 1's and 0's. There is no commitment to a voice on a ventrillo server. The second anyone feels like that is when they should step outside for 5, have a cup of tea, have a chat with a friend. Sure, go back if you feel like it, but don't ever feel commited to something that doesn't matter :)

I found I was throwing away oppurtunities because of that, I didn't have it bad, far from it. But yeah, for a while, i was unemployed, living with the 'rents. I often passed up on jobhunting to hang around on a game all day. For shame Gryph! (/set slap_self 1)

I don't play anything anymore. Not through a forced choice though. One day, I put them down, and went and did something else. I never really got the urge, or the tickle to pick anything up.

Feels good :)

These days I don't check in much with anything game related, which in someways is a shame, because yeah, it's a perfectly valid form of entertainment in moderation. Without it, it's worse than most drugs out there. It's legal. It's easy to get. And it's tailored to suit you.
ESO - EU - Ebonheart
Jalfrezi - Khajit DK/Destro
Peeks-Through-Windows - Argonian Templar/Resto

PostPosted: Wed Oct 25, 2006 11:56 pm

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BlackDove
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Gryphon wrote: Sure, go back if you feel like it, but don't ever feel commited to something that doesn't matter :)
Oh I wouldn't go that far.

As with almost all things in this life, you decide your own level of involvement. If you make it matter, it does matter.

The point of the article is just that. Level of involvement people decide to give to games that are there to take all of your time if you let them. A lot of people get suckered into the loop by having so much "fun" that they don't even get around to deciding how much of their time they're going to put into it, or even if they want to vest that time there.

The article pretty much just tells you to think about it, and provides the negative aspects. No more.

PostPosted: Thu Oct 26, 2006 12:01 am

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Gryphon
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BlackDove wrote:
Gryphon wrote: Sure, go back if you feel like it, but don't ever feel commited to something that doesn't matter :)
Oh I wouldn't go that far.

As with almost all things in this life, you decide your own level of involvement. If you make it matter, it does matter.

The point of the article is just that. Level of involvement people decide to give to games that are there to take all of your time if you let them. A lot of people get suckered into the loop by having so much "fun" that they don't even get around to deciding how much of their time they're going to put into it, or even if they want to vest that time there.

The article pretty much just tells you to think about it, and provides the negative aspects. No more.
Indeed.

But i find the digestion of such material completely subjective. My conclusions are drawn from that little niggly guilty feeling that i could quite possibly have been doing better things with my time. :sweat:
ESO - EU - Ebonheart
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PostPosted: Thu Oct 26, 2006 7:15 am

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Messiah
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Gryphon wrote:My conclusions are drawn from that little niggly guilty feeling that i could quite possibly have been doing better things with my time. :sweat:
.... like "I could have gone to Amsterdam!"

;)
"All I was trying to do was get people to want to make their own new ring of light so that it is forever a name with meaning and substance ...." - BlackDove the Beneficent

PostPosted: Thu Oct 26, 2006 11:52 am

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Gryphon
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Messiah wrote:
Gryphon wrote:My conclusions are drawn from that little niggly guilty feeling that i could quite possibly have been doing better things with my time. :sweat:
.... like "I could have gone to Amsterdam!"

;)
Pfft, Jackass.

<_<
ESO - EU - Ebonheart
Jalfrezi - Khajit DK/Destro
Peeks-Through-Windows - Argonian Templar/Resto

PostPosted: Thu Oct 26, 2006 12:59 pm

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Futile Resistance
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Yale wrote:...It's possible the lure of being able to take control and advance an area of their life at that time could have been a big pull...
Very true. A few years back when MMOs were first starting to grab the mainstream market a friend asked me, "Why do you play a game that never ends?"

I answered, "Because what I do in that game, everyone notices. My accomplishments MATTER and won't simply dissapear the moment the next round starts or when I join the next server." (well, I was thinking of lobby FPS games at the time)

When I started my freshman year at GA Tech, alot of my freshmen buddies began playing MMOs... Most of them were addicted to SWG/EQ/FFXI. By the end of the first semester, almost half of them were on academic probations... The ones that realized they had a problem with self-control pulled their acts together and made it through and did better the second semester of their freshman year... The others dropped out :(

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