The Further Adventures of Ela and her Sappy Star Elites
Moderators: Global Moderators, LOTRO Moderators
-
Wulfsmark
- Posts: 172
- Joined: Sun Jul 08, 2007 9:01 am
-
Syro
- Posts: 887
- Joined: Tue Jun 12, 2007 4:23 pm
They All Fall Down (Teaser Only)
After numerous party wipes at the first entrance to the Carn Dum Sewers followed by a few days of rest, our Sappy Star friends were ready to move beyond the infamous Hornblowers. Hornblowers, as some already know, like to welcome all new Middle-Earth folks into the sewers with a horrible and repetitious party wipe. Wipe or no wipe, our group of Sappy Star Elites had a serious mission to obtain the Ornate Grate Key from the angry, rock-hammering trolls above the sewers.
Would our Sappy friends find another successful way to end their adventure in defeat or would they wrestle the key from the Elite Nemesis Troll boss? The outcome would depend upon their platform-fighting skills, falling avoidance, and their strategy for fighting the Elite Master Trolls who longed to throw anyone or all of the adventurers into the stench of lethal green water below.
"Did they say that we should avoid being thrown into the water by the Trolls?" Mariah asked her boyfriend, Greater Noble Spirit, while Flea shouted in a panic, "Run Slidey! Run them back to here! You're gonna get thrown into the water!"
The fellowship settled into a routine after this first battle, and all seemed well until a voice quietly remarked, "Uh-oh!" This catch phrase is Slidey's famous line, but this time it was not Slidey. This time it was...
After numerous party wipes at the first entrance to the Carn Dum Sewers followed by a few days of rest, our Sappy Star friends were ready to move beyond the infamous Hornblowers. Hornblowers, as some already know, like to welcome all new Middle-Earth folks into the sewers with a horrible and repetitious party wipe. Wipe or no wipe, our group of Sappy Star Elites had a serious mission to obtain the Ornate Grate Key from the angry, rock-hammering trolls above the sewers.
Would our Sappy friends find another successful way to end their adventure in defeat or would they wrestle the key from the Elite Nemesis Troll boss? The outcome would depend upon their platform-fighting skills, falling avoidance, and their strategy for fighting the Elite Master Trolls who longed to throw anyone or all of the adventurers into the stench of lethal green water below.
"Did they say that we should avoid being thrown into the water by the Trolls?" Mariah asked her boyfriend, Greater Noble Spirit, while Flea shouted in a panic, "Run Slidey! Run them back to here! You're gonna get thrown into the water!"
The fellowship settled into a routine after this first battle, and all seemed well until a voice quietly remarked, "Uh-oh!" This catch phrase is Slidey's famous line, but this time it was not Slidey. This time it was...
-
Syro
- Posts: 887
- Joined: Tue Jun 12, 2007 4:23 pm
They All Fall Down - The Rising Heroine Addict
After numerous party wipes at the first entrance to the Carn Dum Sewers followed by a few days of rest, our Sappy Star friends were ready to move beyond the infamous Hornblowers. Hornblowers, as some already know, like to welcome all new Middle-Earth folks into the sewers with a horrible and repetitious party wipe. Wipe or no wipe, our group of Sappy Star Elites had a serious mission to obtain the Ornate Grate Key from the angry, rock-hammering trolls above the sewers.
Would our Sappy friends find another successful way to end their adventure in defeat or would they wrestle the key from the Elite Nemesis Troll boss? The outcome would depend upon their platform-fighting skills, falling avoidance, and their strategy for fighting the Elite Master Trolls who longed to throw anyone or all of the adventurers into the stench of lethal green water below.
"Did they say that we should avoid being thrown into the water by the Trolls?" Mariah asked her boyfriend, Greater Noble Spirit, while Flea shouted in a panic, "Run Slidey! Run them back to here! You're gonna get thrown into the water!"
The fellowship settled into a routine after this first battle, and all seemed well until a voice quietly remarked, "Uh-oh!" This catch phrase is Slidey's famous line, but this time it was not Slidey. This time it was Mariah Carey as she sailed over Spyro and disappeared beneath the walkway.
Ela shouted, "What! What? What's wrong?" Ela's voice quivered with concern for her beloved sister.
"I'm okay. I got thrown down to the lower platform by the Troll. I'm on my way back."
By now, we should not be surprised when Mariah pulls a Mariah for she has mastered the art of falling while in combat. It is when Backslider, Flea and Dwark (the Guardian formerly known as Dwac) decide to pull a Mariah that our party finds itself laughing hysterically at its own misfortunes.
"Boy! (Probably a reference to Spyro) That troll is sure angry. Look how hard he is beating on that platform. What do you think he is doing?"
Spyro, oblivious to the boy reference, replied, "I don't know, but let's go kill it!"
What happened next should be explained through one survivor's own words:
I was standing there [while Slidey and Flea charged the very angry, level 54 troll]; and the next thing I know, I am standing 50 meters below the mob wondering, "How the heck did I get aggro?" I had no idea that the bridge collapsed and we fell into a group of trolls. No wonder that angry troll was beating so hard on the platform!
So to Dwark we say, "Thank you for sharing your experience with us! We know it can be a total shock when a level 50 Guardian successfully grabs aggro without even trying! Good job, hero!"
At this moment in their adventure, Ela realized that she had missed her queue; it was her moment to shine! "Hey, you guys! That was suppose to be me who pulled a Mariah. I am Gandalf! I was suppose to fall on that collapse! Oh, this isn't right! That's not how it was suppose to go!"
With those words, Ela jumped over the broken platform and sustained falling damage on the walkway below.
Was it because Ela followed through with her Gandalf illusion? Or was it because she was the 5th member of the team to pull a Mariah on this dangerous night of troll bashing? We do not know, but it became obvious to all that Ela began shining like no Sappy Star Lore Master had ever shined in the adversity of Carn Dum upon this very night!
Ela navigated, pulled, tanked, controlled aggro, DPS'd, healed, sacrificed, encouraged and generally rallied our band of Sappy Star Elites to victory over the Nemisis Elite Troll who gave up the Ornate Grate Key and was the 6th character of the night to pull a Mariah.
"Did you guys see that? I pulled that troll in my sleep and he pulled a Mariah! That was hilarious!" declared the very satisfied Ela, who now made her case, "You see, Slidey! I have been trying to tell you guys from the beginning that Lore Masters are the bomb in this game! I am Gandalf the White, a football player, a rock star, and your immortal idol. What would you peeps do without me?"
Please allow us to answer that question on behalf of Slidey.
Upon this night, we would not have witnessed Slidey, Spyro, Flea, and Ela pulling a Spyro together in a dead-end corner of the Carn Dum Sewers, while Dwark wondered if he would be able to grab aggro from the dead corpses that Mariah was looting. We would not have seen Flea's surprised reaction two hours later when he finally noticed that Ela dinged 49. And we would have tragically missed Mariah, Slidey, Dwark, Flea, Ela, and Spyro teetering on a log in the middle of deadly green waters in order to pull Mariah followed by a Spyro when the log gave way beneath their feet and they were all "Incapacitated by Misadventure!" "Ela, we would have missed it all without you!"
Yes, it was a great night for the Sappy Star Elites. Ela shined, like always. We observed at least 12 Mariahs being pulled (well, 13 if we count Ela's last sacrifice before the great Octopus). And the Sappy peeps obtained the coveted Ornate Grate Key!
Way to go, Ela! They couldn't have done it without you - our most noble and selfless heroine addict! When Sappy Stars fall, none crash and burn as hard as Mariah. And when Sappy Stars rise, none can compete with your glory! You are tonight's winner of the Sappy Star Genuine Heroine Addict Award! Congrats! Your addiction to greatness remains unmatched by any other level 49 Sappy Star Lore Master, ever!
After numerous party wipes at the first entrance to the Carn Dum Sewers followed by a few days of rest, our Sappy Star friends were ready to move beyond the infamous Hornblowers. Hornblowers, as some already know, like to welcome all new Middle-Earth folks into the sewers with a horrible and repetitious party wipe. Wipe or no wipe, our group of Sappy Star Elites had a serious mission to obtain the Ornate Grate Key from the angry, rock-hammering trolls above the sewers.
Would our Sappy friends find another successful way to end their adventure in defeat or would they wrestle the key from the Elite Nemesis Troll boss? The outcome would depend upon their platform-fighting skills, falling avoidance, and their strategy for fighting the Elite Master Trolls who longed to throw anyone or all of the adventurers into the stench of lethal green water below.
"Did they say that we should avoid being thrown into the water by the Trolls?" Mariah asked her boyfriend, Greater Noble Spirit, while Flea shouted in a panic, "Run Slidey! Run them back to here! You're gonna get thrown into the water!"
The fellowship settled into a routine after this first battle, and all seemed well until a voice quietly remarked, "Uh-oh!" This catch phrase is Slidey's famous line, but this time it was not Slidey. This time it was Mariah Carey as she sailed over Spyro and disappeared beneath the walkway.
Ela shouted, "What! What? What's wrong?" Ela's voice quivered with concern for her beloved sister.
"I'm okay. I got thrown down to the lower platform by the Troll. I'm on my way back."
By now, we should not be surprised when Mariah pulls a Mariah for she has mastered the art of falling while in combat. It is when Backslider, Flea and Dwark (the Guardian formerly known as Dwac) decide to pull a Mariah that our party finds itself laughing hysterically at its own misfortunes.
"Boy! (Probably a reference to Spyro) That troll is sure angry. Look how hard he is beating on that platform. What do you think he is doing?"
Spyro, oblivious to the boy reference, replied, "I don't know, but let's go kill it!"
What happened next should be explained through one survivor's own words:
I was standing there [while Slidey and Flea charged the very angry, level 54 troll]; and the next thing I know, I am standing 50 meters below the mob wondering, "How the heck did I get aggro?" I had no idea that the bridge collapsed and we fell into a group of trolls. No wonder that angry troll was beating so hard on the platform!
So to Dwark we say, "Thank you for sharing your experience with us! We know it can be a total shock when a level 50 Guardian successfully grabs aggro without even trying! Good job, hero!"
At this moment in their adventure, Ela realized that she had missed her queue; it was her moment to shine! "Hey, you guys! That was suppose to be me who pulled a Mariah. I am Gandalf! I was suppose to fall on that collapse! Oh, this isn't right! That's not how it was suppose to go!"
With those words, Ela jumped over the broken platform and sustained falling damage on the walkway below.
Was it because Ela followed through with her Gandalf illusion? Or was it because she was the 5th member of the team to pull a Mariah on this dangerous night of troll bashing? We do not know, but it became obvious to all that Ela began shining like no Sappy Star Lore Master had ever shined in the adversity of Carn Dum upon this very night!
Ela navigated, pulled, tanked, controlled aggro, DPS'd, healed, sacrificed, encouraged and generally rallied our band of Sappy Star Elites to victory over the Nemisis Elite Troll who gave up the Ornate Grate Key and was the 6th character of the night to pull a Mariah.
"Did you guys see that? I pulled that troll in my sleep and he pulled a Mariah! That was hilarious!" declared the very satisfied Ela, who now made her case, "You see, Slidey! I have been trying to tell you guys from the beginning that Lore Masters are the bomb in this game! I am Gandalf the White, a football player, a rock star, and your immortal idol. What would you peeps do without me?"
Please allow us to answer that question on behalf of Slidey.
Upon this night, we would not have witnessed Slidey, Spyro, Flea, and Ela pulling a Spyro together in a dead-end corner of the Carn Dum Sewers, while Dwark wondered if he would be able to grab aggro from the dead corpses that Mariah was looting. We would not have seen Flea's surprised reaction two hours later when he finally noticed that Ela dinged 49. And we would have tragically missed Mariah, Slidey, Dwark, Flea, Ela, and Spyro teetering on a log in the middle of deadly green waters in order to pull Mariah followed by a Spyro when the log gave way beneath their feet and they were all "Incapacitated by Misadventure!" "Ela, we would have missed it all without you!"
Yes, it was a great night for the Sappy Star Elites. Ela shined, like always. We observed at least 12 Mariahs being pulled (well, 13 if we count Ela's last sacrifice before the great Octopus). And the Sappy peeps obtained the coveted Ornate Grate Key!
Way to go, Ela! They couldn't have done it without you - our most noble and selfless heroine addict! When Sappy Stars fall, none crash and burn as hard as Mariah. And when Sappy Stars rise, none can compete with your glory! You are tonight's winner of the Sappy Star Genuine Heroine Addict Award! Congrats! Your addiction to greatness remains unmatched by any other level 49 Sappy Star Lore Master, ever!
-
Syro
- Posts: 887
- Joined: Tue Jun 12, 2007 4:23 pm
An Intermission for Flea
Flea on Flea
"We should come back and kill that a few more times. They sell for like 15 gold each!"
"Agreed. I do kind of look like a young Alex Trebek, but that's not why you recognize me with my helmet off."
[To Spyro] "Yeah. Ela secretly fantasizes about having my mustache, but do you think Ela knows that I still fantasize about wearing Mariah's red pants!"
"Slidey, I saw another male Champion wearing this breastplate in Himbar. I think it would look great on you! Let's try it on together and let me know what you think!"
"Binky! It's Binky. There's my Binky! What's up Binky?"
"Hey, Ela. Check this out! How do you like my new helmet?"
"Oh, no. I am not going to remove my helmet any more!"
"Now that we have mastered that, we could come back and farm it for gold."
"It won't let me hit red! I keep pressing red. But it won't let me hit it!"
"Run! Run! Get out of here! Run!"
"Oh, I didn't know. Should I retreat?"
Ela on Flea
"I love the way he dual wields. Maybe he would let me touch one of his hilts some day?"
Mariah on Flea
"He looks like a dreamy Alex Trebek! Remember him?"
Dwork (the Guardian formerly known as Dwark) on Flea
"I tried to get aggro off him but you guys killed it too fast."
Backslider on Flea
"Hey! Who's Alex Trebek?"
Mariah on Alex
"You don't remember Alex Trebek?"
Fornada on Alex
"Sorry I was afk. What's up? Sure. You want to talk about Flea?"
Spyro on Flea
"He is a real giver that Flea. When the team is exhausted from a long battle and has defeated the final boss of the evening - if there are a few more elite mobs standing around, you can always count on Flea to grab aggro."
Gratz Flea! You now stand amongst the Sappy l33ts like Mariah, Backslider, Ela, Mariah, Spyro, and Mariah who all have noble but foolish acts named after them! Who will be our next Sappy adventurer to Pull a Flea!? Will it be you, Flea???
Flea on Flea
"We should come back and kill that a few more times. They sell for like 15 gold each!"
"Agreed. I do kind of look like a young Alex Trebek, but that's not why you recognize me with my helmet off."
[To Spyro] "Yeah. Ela secretly fantasizes about having my mustache, but do you think Ela knows that I still fantasize about wearing Mariah's red pants!"
"Slidey, I saw another male Champion wearing this breastplate in Himbar. I think it would look great on you! Let's try it on together and let me know what you think!"
"Binky! It's Binky. There's my Binky! What's up Binky?"
"Hey, Ela. Check this out! How do you like my new helmet?"
"Oh, no. I am not going to remove my helmet any more!"
"Now that we have mastered that, we could come back and farm it for gold."
"It won't let me hit red! I keep pressing red. But it won't let me hit it!"
"Run! Run! Get out of here! Run!"
"Oh, I didn't know. Should I retreat?"
Ela on Flea
"I love the way he dual wields. Maybe he would let me touch one of his hilts some day?"
Mariah on Flea
"He looks like a dreamy Alex Trebek! Remember him?"
Dwork (the Guardian formerly known as Dwark) on Flea
"I tried to get aggro off him but you guys killed it too fast."
Backslider on Flea
"Hey! Who's Alex Trebek?"
Mariah on Alex
"You don't remember Alex Trebek?"
Fornada on Alex
"Sorry I was afk. What's up? Sure. You want to talk about Flea?"
Spyro on Flea
"He is a real giver that Flea. When the team is exhausted from a long battle and has defeated the final boss of the evening - if there are a few more elite mobs standing around, you can always count on Flea to grab aggro."
Gratz Flea! You now stand amongst the Sappy l33ts like Mariah, Backslider, Ela, Mariah, Spyro, and Mariah who all have noble but foolish acts named after them! Who will be our next Sappy adventurer to Pull a Flea!? Will it be you, Flea???
-
LOTRO_Lee
- Posts: 38
- Joined: Fri Jul 06, 2007 7:45 pm
-
Syro
- Posts: 887
- Joined: Tue Jun 12, 2007 4:23 pm
Re: Heroinela
Thanks, Keith, but let's not encourage her too much!Faernath wrote:
I fully support the aforementioned heroine.
-
Syro
- Posts: 887
- Joined: Tue Jun 12, 2007 4:23 pm
-
Syro
- Posts: 887
- Joined: Tue Jun 12, 2007 4:23 pm
A Failed Horseman's Return - Book 7, Chapter 8
"I must get rid of these decrepit fingernails from Combe and replace them with Bree's finest," reflected Ela as she booked a massage, manicure, pedicure, hair tease, oil treatment, aroma therapy, facial, waxing, lipo, botox, and Hobbit therapist at the Prancing Pony Spa. "A Heroine junky must look stunning for her many fans in Middle-Earth! Mariah and the boys will have to get along without me tonight."
So while Ela improved upon her vanity, Spyro and Mariah organized a band of Sappy Star Petites to work on Epic quests. "Any of you Petites need to work on books?" barked Spyro in kin chat.
"I need Book 7 Chapter 6," replied the bushy-haired hunter, Jerimop.
Failedhorseman quickly added, "I will help with Book 7 Chapter 8 but I don't need it. My team plowed through it last night like bees making honey on a hot summer's day. Send me an invite, Spyro, and I will bring my bear to guide you!"
It's extremely difficult to fail as a cowboy in the tame and prosperous fields of Archet, but there are those extraordinarily rare persons who just don't have the strength to wear medium armor. Failedhorseman always thought that he would physically mature enough to become a built but intelligent John Wayne of the Bree-lands. His hopes were shattered when he failed to pass the physical examine into Saddle's Bristlehide Boot Camp for the 9th year in a row. With shattered stars exiled from his dreams, our sad cowboy accepted his fate and turned to the only peeps who would welcome a man wearing paper dresses - our friends of Sappy Star Elites.
Tonight, Failedhorseman felt at home. He was in a Sappy Star fellowship with Mariah, Fornada, Flea, Jerimop, and Spryo. Ela was at the spa, so it was his moment to shine for the Elites and help his Sappy Star Petite chum, Jerimop, complete a chapter that he had breezed through last night on his own!
The first few battles in Carn Dum went great. "Did you hear that Pawz? Spyro said that I am doing a great job with the stuns and mob control! We are awesome! No more Sappy Star Petites for me!"
"Hmmmmm?" snorted Pawz to himself as he ran after what he thought might be the scent of honey wafting on the wind. "Where's that honey? Didn't Failedhorseman say that there be bees making honey here?"
These words proved to be Pawz's final thoughts before he was slaughtered by one of the 20 angry elite mobs that he aggro'd while chasing visions of honey flowing through the streets of Carn Dum. In exactly this order, Failedhorseman, Jerimop, Mariah, Fornada, Spyro, and Flea followed that darn bear into defeat!
No one spoke except Spyro, because everyone already knew what had happened. "Thanks for nothing, Failedhorseman! You have successfully reminded us of the early days when Fornada's pet would wipe our group just as your pet has today. It has been a long time since we have seen it, but you are the master tonight! Thank you so much for pulling a Foranda in the Carn Dum instance of Book 7 Chapter 8! Were so glad that you made the return trip with us tonight!"
Ela laughed with glee as the aroma therapist and Hobbit tickled her nose with a raspberry blossom. "Back to the Sappy Star Petites for you, Failure! We have room for only one Supreme Lore Master in the Sappy Star Elites, and that Supreme Being is me! I am the greatest! Just ask Flea!"
"I must get rid of these decrepit fingernails from Combe and replace them with Bree's finest," reflected Ela as she booked a massage, manicure, pedicure, hair tease, oil treatment, aroma therapy, facial, waxing, lipo, botox, and Hobbit therapist at the Prancing Pony Spa. "A Heroine junky must look stunning for her many fans in Middle-Earth! Mariah and the boys will have to get along without me tonight."
So while Ela improved upon her vanity, Spyro and Mariah organized a band of Sappy Star Petites to work on Epic quests. "Any of you Petites need to work on books?" barked Spyro in kin chat.
"I need Book 7 Chapter 6," replied the bushy-haired hunter, Jerimop.
Failedhorseman quickly added, "I will help with Book 7 Chapter 8 but I don't need it. My team plowed through it last night like bees making honey on a hot summer's day. Send me an invite, Spyro, and I will bring my bear to guide you!"
It's extremely difficult to fail as a cowboy in the tame and prosperous fields of Archet, but there are those extraordinarily rare persons who just don't have the strength to wear medium armor. Failedhorseman always thought that he would physically mature enough to become a built but intelligent John Wayne of the Bree-lands. His hopes were shattered when he failed to pass the physical examine into Saddle's Bristlehide Boot Camp for the 9th year in a row. With shattered stars exiled from his dreams, our sad cowboy accepted his fate and turned to the only peeps who would welcome a man wearing paper dresses - our friends of Sappy Star Elites.
Tonight, Failedhorseman felt at home. He was in a Sappy Star fellowship with Mariah, Fornada, Flea, Jerimop, and Spryo. Ela was at the spa, so it was his moment to shine for the Elites and help his Sappy Star Petite chum, Jerimop, complete a chapter that he had breezed through last night on his own!
The first few battles in Carn Dum went great. "Did you hear that Pawz? Spyro said that I am doing a great job with the stuns and mob control! We are awesome! No more Sappy Star Petites for me!"
"Hmmmmm?" snorted Pawz to himself as he ran after what he thought might be the scent of honey wafting on the wind. "Where's that honey? Didn't Failedhorseman say that there be bees making honey here?"
These words proved to be Pawz's final thoughts before he was slaughtered by one of the 20 angry elite mobs that he aggro'd while chasing visions of honey flowing through the streets of Carn Dum. In exactly this order, Failedhorseman, Jerimop, Mariah, Fornada, Spyro, and Flea followed that darn bear into defeat!
No one spoke except Spyro, because everyone already knew what had happened. "Thanks for nothing, Failedhorseman! You have successfully reminded us of the early days when Fornada's pet would wipe our group just as your pet has today. It has been a long time since we have seen it, but you are the master tonight! Thank you so much for pulling a Foranda in the Carn Dum instance of Book 7 Chapter 8! Were so glad that you made the return trip with us tonight!"
Ela laughed with glee as the aroma therapist and Hobbit tickled her nose with a raspberry blossom. "Back to the Sappy Star Petites for you, Failure! We have room for only one Supreme Lore Master in the Sappy Star Elites, and that Supreme Being is me! I am the greatest! Just ask Flea!"
-
Syro
- Posts: 887
- Joined: Tue Jun 12, 2007 4:23 pm
Minstrel Songs
On any given night, Mariah can be found dancing on tables at the Prancing Pony to the applause and cheers of Sappy and un-Sappy Dwarves, Hobbits, Elves, and Humans. Many Middle-Earth girls watch her dance with awe and long to be graced by half of Mariahs beauty. These girls sing praises to Mariah throughout the morning, noon, and night.
Oh, Mariah! Oh, Mariah! Oooooh, Mariah!
Is there none in Middle-Earth,
As lovely as thee - our fair lady, Mariah?
Who can woo the kings and swoon the boys,
Like our most beautiful lady, Mariah?
They shall try,
But shan't succeed,
Because they aren't the glorious dream,
Who is our marvelous vision to see,
Only our Lady Minstrel Mariah!
While most folks sing joyous songs to her from Rivendell to the Thorin's Hall, there are some very un-Sappy, Bree girls who greedily desire nothing less than to steal all of her fame and renown for themselves! These nasty and diabolical Nazgul groupies will stop at nothing to destroy her and possess all her character for their own vile purposes. They plot and scheme of terrible, evil things that would bring our humble and very kindly Minstrel into the fires of Mordor! They sing a very different song!
Oh, Mariah! Bah, Mariah! To your death, it is Mariah!
Run from us, you Sappy cuss!
We'll serve yer heart at Nazgul brunch!
And by the flames of Mordor's bane,
You and all your groupies slain!
Run Mariah! Flee Mariah!
We'll sing no more of you, Mariah!
And somewhere between the praise of admirers and the revile of jealous haters, lives another sort of person who has the peculiar desire to heal and a burning passion for fame. Like Gollum and his soul-sick desire to forever possess the One Ring, Slidey Jr. thinks and dreams of only one thing - "In some way on this very day, I will be Mariah!"
With a mustache from his mother and a head of hair from his great grandmother, Slidey Jr. sang this tune last night while dancing on a table in Bree:
Ha, Mariah! Minstrel Mariah!
You know I am the one, Mariah!
I tank! I pull! I aggro more!
I dance! I heal! I'm full of zeal!
I am the one, you call - Mariah!
When Oakheart makes her dreadful fuss,
I slam Garth Agarwen Wights to dust.
To gain the pants that you know best,
I quest all day but failed the test.
Can you please revive her? Purdy please, Mariah?
Slidey! What the heck happened, dear Minstrel? Did you forget to heal Sara Oakheart because you were too pre-occupied thinking your Sappy thoughts of one day being the one and only Minstrel, Mariah? Gratz Slidey Jr. You have succeeded in making a name for yourself! When the minstrel lets the escorted NPC die, the praise of Middle-Earth will shout, "Hey! You just pulled a Slidey Backslider, Jr!"
On any given night, Mariah can be found dancing on tables at the Prancing Pony to the applause and cheers of Sappy and un-Sappy Dwarves, Hobbits, Elves, and Humans. Many Middle-Earth girls watch her dance with awe and long to be graced by half of Mariahs beauty. These girls sing praises to Mariah throughout the morning, noon, and night.
Oh, Mariah! Oh, Mariah! Oooooh, Mariah!
Is there none in Middle-Earth,
As lovely as thee - our fair lady, Mariah?
Who can woo the kings and swoon the boys,
Like our most beautiful lady, Mariah?
They shall try,
But shan't succeed,
Because they aren't the glorious dream,
Who is our marvelous vision to see,
Only our Lady Minstrel Mariah!
While most folks sing joyous songs to her from Rivendell to the Thorin's Hall, there are some very un-Sappy, Bree girls who greedily desire nothing less than to steal all of her fame and renown for themselves! These nasty and diabolical Nazgul groupies will stop at nothing to destroy her and possess all her character for their own vile purposes. They plot and scheme of terrible, evil things that would bring our humble and very kindly Minstrel into the fires of Mordor! They sing a very different song!
Oh, Mariah! Bah, Mariah! To your death, it is Mariah!
Run from us, you Sappy cuss!
We'll serve yer heart at Nazgul brunch!
And by the flames of Mordor's bane,
You and all your groupies slain!
Run Mariah! Flee Mariah!
We'll sing no more of you, Mariah!
And somewhere between the praise of admirers and the revile of jealous haters, lives another sort of person who has the peculiar desire to heal and a burning passion for fame. Like Gollum and his soul-sick desire to forever possess the One Ring, Slidey Jr. thinks and dreams of only one thing - "In some way on this very day, I will be Mariah!"
With a mustache from his mother and a head of hair from his great grandmother, Slidey Jr. sang this tune last night while dancing on a table in Bree:
Ha, Mariah! Minstrel Mariah!
You know I am the one, Mariah!
I tank! I pull! I aggro more!
I dance! I heal! I'm full of zeal!
I am the one, you call - Mariah!
When Oakheart makes her dreadful fuss,
I slam Garth Agarwen Wights to dust.
To gain the pants that you know best,
I quest all day but failed the test.
Can you please revive her? Purdy please, Mariah?
Slidey! What the heck happened, dear Minstrel? Did you forget to heal Sara Oakheart because you were too pre-occupied thinking your Sappy thoughts of one day being the one and only Minstrel, Mariah? Gratz Slidey Jr. You have succeeded in making a name for yourself! When the minstrel lets the escorted NPC die, the praise of Middle-Earth will shout, "Hey! You just pulled a Slidey Backslider, Jr!"
-
Syro
- Posts: 887
- Joined: Tue Jun 12, 2007 4:23 pm
Afternoon Delight
Without a conclusion to the series, the investors have pulled our funding and the Fellowship of the Ring has been disbanded. No worries. We still have a happy ending!
Mariah started her own fashion design company that specializes in pants, and she is doing quite well.
Backslider gave up his career as a Champion to go back to Minstrel school.
Fornada left the Sappy Stars, had seconds, and begged to be reinstated. His case is pending an appeal in the High Court of Rivendell.
Dork (the Guardian formerly known as Dwork) put down his shield and went to work for Renovator as a second-hand sidekick.
Flea started a business venture in the mining industry and still does not have enough gold to this day.
Spyro was traded to Sappy Star Petites and spends most of his days sleeping to gain rest xp.
The rest of our Sappy Stars who have been mentioned and not mentioned in the Ela stories have now become the new Sappy Star Elites. Way to go, peeps! You rock!
Oh!!! And...
Ela fell into the flames of Mordor.
Thanks to everyone who has participated in Ela's stories. It has been a lot of fun but no more Sappy Star Elites! Yay!
Without a conclusion to the series, the investors have pulled our funding and the Fellowship of the Ring has been disbanded. No worries. We still have a happy ending!
Mariah started her own fashion design company that specializes in pants, and she is doing quite well.
Backslider gave up his career as a Champion to go back to Minstrel school.
Fornada left the Sappy Stars, had seconds, and begged to be reinstated. His case is pending an appeal in the High Court of Rivendell.
Dork (the Guardian formerly known as Dwork) put down his shield and went to work for Renovator as a second-hand sidekick.
Flea started a business venture in the mining industry and still does not have enough gold to this day.
Spyro was traded to Sappy Star Petites and spends most of his days sleeping to gain rest xp.
The rest of our Sappy Stars who have been mentioned and not mentioned in the Ela stories have now become the new Sappy Star Elites. Way to go, peeps! You rock!
Oh!!! And...
Ela fell into the flames of Mordor.
Thanks to everyone who has participated in Ela's stories. It has been a lot of fun but no more Sappy Star Elites! Yay!
