With much gritting of teeth and feigned happiness, I must report that once again Isileth has shamed us all by taking the world famous STR Fantasy Premier League championship for yet another year. Speaking with much smugness after his triumph, the champion addressed his peons thusly:
"You know, the fact that year after year I have to present the trophy to myself really does make you guys look like a bunch of sore losers. Sure each year I already have the trophy so from a logistics perspective it is easier for me to just present it to myself but really you guys need to be putting together some sort of ceremony otherwise it just makes you look bad. But enough of that, this is a time for great celebration.
Few men are built of the stuff it takes to win the STR Fantasy Premier League, to lift the trophy is a reward saved for only those of great character and resolve, to be born of such ability along with the drive and motivation required for this immense achievement is truly a once in a generation gift. It just so happens that I was the one chosen for this gift.
To win once is a life defining event, to win twice is to be assured your place in sporting history, to win three times elevates you above all men who have come before, to win four times raises you above all yet to come, to win five times is surely beyond any mere mortals ability, to win six times is frankly just getting silly, but to win seven times...to win seven times in a row...who could even dream of such a thing?
The seventh FPL trophy is mine!"
